so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
