he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
