I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
