There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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