quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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