Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
