Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize