ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
