I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is wine microwaveable?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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