the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
