Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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