need another drink. this is the easiest way
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
