If i come over, it means nothing
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
