Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
