Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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