i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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