The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's blow job season.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
