just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.