ADVERTISEMENT

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

  Fav 21 1012 4870

  share tweet
  

• (559): View more from California

  With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

  Fav 6 3613 953

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

  Fav 95 6245 1471

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

  Fav 40 9162 1016

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

  Fav 32 15945 2728

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

  Fav 22 4612 1999

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (906): View more from Michigan

  I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

  Fav 5 2114 3044

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

  Fav 5 1070 2567

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.

  Fav 3 2014 1077

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?

  Fav 4 1790 794

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?

  Fav 12 1005 585

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

  Fav 5 860 517

  share tweet
  

• (862): View more from New Jersey

  This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.

  Fav 6 1644 485

  share tweet
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.

  Fav 0 124 72

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?

  Fav 1 38 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize