last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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