watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
True college students do jello shots in the library
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