the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
