Dual....:-)
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So much rum. So many feels.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
