Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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