those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
