This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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