How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
