FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
