I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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