why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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