Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
