So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
