There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
