also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
