I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm always down for nudity.
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