I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
