margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
