Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
