Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
