it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
