well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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