weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize