I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My pussy is not your playground.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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