I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
