Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Of course I have a pirate flag
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
