How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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