I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
