I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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