She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You took a bar mat shot.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
