marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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