Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
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I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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