I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
