I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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