Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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