I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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