best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
