Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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