The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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