is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
