Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
