No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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