I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
