What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
