She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize