pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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