How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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