why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize