i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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