My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
