dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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